David Letterman’s show is known for his “Top Ten” absurdities. Here is a Canadian version of them, sent to me by a client
:
10. Only in America, could politicians talk about the greed of the rich, at a $35,000 a plate fund raising event.
9. Only in America, could people claim that the government still discriminates against black people, when they have a black President, a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of federal government employees are black, when the population of the country is 12% black.
8. Only in America, could they have had the two people most responsible for the tax code, Timothy Geithner, head of the Treasury Department, and Charles Rangel, once had of the Ways and Means Committee, and BOTH turn out to be tax cheats, and both in favor of higher taxes.
7. Only in America, can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah, and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash, if it were reported.
6. Only in America, would they make people who want to legally become American citizens, wait for years in their home countries, and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally, just ’magically’ become American citizens.
5. Only in America, could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking to the country’s constitution, be thought of as ’extremists.’
4. Only in America, could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.
3. Only in America, could people demand that the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public, because the price of gas went up, when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil), is less than half of a company making tennis shoes. (Nike).
2. Only in America, could the government collect more tax dollars from the people, than any nation in recorded history, and still spend a trillion dollars more than it takes in in a year, spending $7 million PER MINUTE, and then complain that it doesn’t have enough money.
1. Only in America, could the ’rich people,’ who pay 86% of all income taxes, be accused of not paying “Their fair share,” by people who pay no income taxes at all.
And my favorite: The U.S. Senate wants to grant amnesty to 22 million illegals and their families after a ’background check,’ when the FBI can’t perform a background check on a Muslim terrorist in Boston, despite the Russian government telling them he is a TERRORIST.
Or perhaps: The U.S. army has completed a 54,000 square foot building in Afghanistan at a cost of 34 million dollars, when is is wired for the wrong voltage, and before it was started, it was told not to build it, as it was not needed, and would not be used.
Or maybe, that in bankrupt Detroit, the city hires lawyers for almost $1,000 per hour.
And finally, only in America, does the hottest place on earth exist, Death Valley, where eggs can be cooked in a frying pan on the sidewalk.
Someone sent me this too, which makes a whole lot of sense!
An economics professor said that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class, insisted that Obama’s socialism worked, making no one poor, and no one rich… the great equalizer
The professor decided to have his class act under Obama socialism, with everyone being equal. All grades will be averaged, and everyone will receive the same grade. No one will fail, and no one will get an A.
The grades in the first test were averaged, and everyone got a “B,” which pleased everyone except those who worked for and deserved an “A.” The second test averaged a “D,” and no one was happy. The third test, averaged an “F” with everyone failing. The professor told them that socialism would ultimately fail, because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. The following are five of the best sentences you will ever read, and all applicable to the professor’s averaging of grades:
1. The poor cannot be legislated into prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working, another person must work for without receiving, obviously to pay for the non-working’s payment.
3. The government cannot give anything to anybody, without first taking it from someone else, or printing it, which takes from everyone.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because someone else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.
Our one hope for taking back the Senate and keeping the House in 2014, is the Tea Party. Send them a few dollars. – TEA PARTY EXPRESS. P.O. BOX 96599. WASHINGTON D.C. 20090-6599