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This was sent to me by a client, and supposedly David Letterman said the following ten reasons to vote Democrat. He’s such a liberal, I can’t imagine his coming up with these, but they are funny.
“(10) I vote Democrat, because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd.” (In Friday’s Drudge Report, someone wanted to marry his computer)
“(9) I vote Democrat, because I believe oil company profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing a gallon at 15% isn’t obscene.”
“(8) I vote Democrat, because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn, than I would.”
“(7) I vote Democrat, because freedom of speech is fine as long as no one is offended by it.”
“(6) I vote Democrat, because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know the local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have 911 service that get police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.”
“(5) I vote Democrat, because I’m not concerned about babies being aborted, so long as we keep death row inmates alive and comfy.”
“(4) I vote Democrat, because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.”
“(3) I vote Democrat, because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest to the government for redistribution, as Democrats see fit.”
“(2) I vote Democrat, because I believe that liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks, who would never get their agendas past the voters.”
“(1) The Reason I vote Democrat, is because I think its better to pay billions for oil to people who hate us, but not to drill our own, because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.”
Recorded Democrat Credits
In 1865, a Democrat shot and killed Abraham Lincoln.
In 1881, a Democrat shot James Garfield who later died from the wound.
In 1975, a Democrat fired shots at Gerald Ford.
In 1983, a Democrat shot and wounded Ronald Reagan.
In 1984, a Democrat shot and killed 22 people in a McDonalds restaurant.
In 1986, a Democrat shot and killed 15 people in an Oklahoma Post Office.
In 1990, a Democrat shot and killed 10 people at a GMAC office.
In 1991, a Democrat shot and killed 23 people at a Luby’s Cafeteria in Killeen, Texas.
In 1991, a Democrat shot and killed 8 people at a church service.
In 1995, a Democrat shot and killed 5 coworkers in a Texas laboratory.
In 2001, a Democrat fired shots at the White House in a failed attempt to kill George Bush.
In 2003, a Democrat shot and killed 7 people at a Lockheed Martin Plant.
In 2010, a Democrat shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, and killed 6 others.
In 2011, a Democrat shot and killed 12 people in movie theatre.
In 2012, a Democrat shot and killed 7 people in Minneapolis.
In 2013, a Democrat shot and killed 26 in a school at Newtown, CT.
In 2013, a Democrat shot 12 at a Navy Yard in D.C.
Not one NRA member, Tea Party Conservative, or Conservative Republican was involved in any of these shootings or murders.
Solution? Keep guns out of Democrat hands!
And finally, here are a few words from that great black academician, Thomas Sowell:
“Much of the social history of the western world, over the past three decades, has been a history of replacing what worked, with what sounded good.”
“I think this man, (Obama), really does believe he can change the world, and people like that are infinitely more dangerous than mere crooked politicians.”
“It’s amazing that people who think we cannot afford to pay for doctors, hospitals, and medication, somehow think we can afford to pay for doctors, hospitals, and medication, and a government bureaucracy to pay for it.”
“It’s hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions, than putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong.”
“I have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have labeled you a radical 60 years ago, a liberal 30 years ago, and a racist today.”
“I have never understood why it is ’greed’ to want to keep the money you’ve earned, but not greed to take some one else’s money.”
“If you have been voting for politicians who promise to give you goodies at someone else’s expense, then you have no right to complain when they take your money, and give it to someone else, including themselves.”
“One of the consequences of such notions as ’entitlements,’ is that people who have contributed nothing to society, think society owes them something, apparently for just being nice enough to grace us with their presence.”
(I’m eternally grateful for people who send me stuff! Then I don’t have to worry about what I’m going to write. Sometimes, anyway).